it all started with the onions

Sadness hit me somewhat unexpectedly and quite forcefully today. The realities of graduation and leaving and goodbyes are settling in slowly as I continue to say goodbyes and experience "lasts" over the next couple weeks. On the one hand, its nice to have more time to spend here and to be able to say goodbye little by little. On the other hand, however, I wish it was more like a bandaid: I could brace myself, rip it off all at once and then move on. But, for now, I'm here slowly saying goodbye and transitioning like a normal person i guess.

I didn't anticipate them, but tears found me today. I sort of felt them accumulating all day but didn't think they would actually make an appearance. Then, while making dinner with Steph, I was cutting onions. The tears that the onions brought just kept flowing for quite a while. I ate dinner with dear girls from my RA small group and then headed to Bible Study. Thats where it really hit me. I've had the joy of FINALLY living near to Sarah for the last two years and its really heart wrenching to think about leaving that. In her precious and totally unique Sarah way she got up, grabbed the tissues and sat next to me cuddled on the couch and we just kept watching Beth Moore on the screen (today's video and lesson were pretty great, by the way. Ask me about it some time).

After Bible Study, I drove home in silence and cried some more. Emily was still up so we got to chat a bit before she went to bed. Its just me again now. But, Laurie's wind chimes are clinging outside: a beautiful, peaceful, comforting sound for my tousled heart.