Sunday, December 31, 2006

A Dollar Multiplied


He placed a cd in the holder attached to the sun visor above his seat and a single dollar bill fell to his lap. In his unique “Tobias” way he looked at me in the rear-view mirror and handed the bill to the backseat into my hand.
“Watch God multiply this,” he said with a slight grin.
At first I couldn’t tell if he was serious or not but then he proceeded with his story.
“God will provide. He will multiple that dollar and will meet all your needs. He always has, He has promised to and He will never go back on His word.”
My sister chimed in with more words of encouragement, “ It won’t always be easy, you won’t understand how He will provide, but He will. You have to believe and pray in faith that He will. You need to give your tithe at the beginning of the month with trust that He will make ends meet when the last few days roll around.

Since that car ride on the way to Target, God has provided and multiplied that dollar in ways I couldn’t even have begun to imagine. Two jobs fell into my lap at the beginning of the semester. I was hired at New Balance and by a psychologist who was paying me $20 an hour, an amazing blessing, an incomprehensible demonstration of the provision of the Father.

Not long after, I quit the better paying job because it was stressing me out and causing anxiety that I could not continue living in. I wasn’t sure if my hours at New Balance would be enough to pay my bills but I knew I couldn’t keep the other job. I quit, while at the same time asking God what on earth I was doing. My heart was full of doubts and questions that I felt horrible for asking but was unable to forget.

My birthday came a few days later and I received cards and gifts from family and friends. A couple days after my actual birthday, I found a check in my mailbox from some close family friends. God was reminding me once again in my moments of doubt and questioning that He is Jehovah Jireh- the Lord who provides.

As I continued to work at New Balance, I got steady hours and was making enough to keep up with my school bill and other expenses. Not only was it a job that was paying my bills, it was a job I greatly enjoyed. I have grown to love the people with whom I work. They look out for me and treat me with great care and respect. They have all become treasured friends.

By the time thanksgiving break rolled around I was more than ready to get off campus and away from the hectic juggling of school, work, ministry, church etc. I waited anxiously to find out if I had the time off work or if I would be staying on campus to work. I could have used the money, but wanted so badly to go to Iowa and be with my family. I got the days off, and my gracious boss gave all his employees a $25 gift card to Jewel, a definite blessing for a college student!

As I made plans for Thanksgiving, the question came up of how I was going to get from Chicago to Des Moines, Iowa. There was a train I could take, but I really didn’t want to fork out $75, not to mention the fact that I didn’t really have it to dish out. But once again, the Lord provided. One of my friends told me he was going to Des Moines to be with his host family and was getting a ride with one of his buddies who lives there. He said they might have an extra seat if I needed a ride. A week later I was stopping with them at the World’s Largest Truck Stop on Interstate 80.

I came back to school after Thanksgiving Break and went back to working and preparing for finals. I had already made my December payment before going on holiday, anticipating shopping with my sister the day after Thanksgiving for some much needed winter clothes.

In the few weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas Break, things got slower and slower at New Balance. Not many people want to buy running gear in the winter. With fewer customers, we all received a few less hours each week. I started wondering how on earth I was going to make my January payment for school, but God remained faithful. I made little payments slowly throughout the month of December toward my January bill. On my last day of work before heading out for the holidays, I walked in to the store and my manager handed me a card. “I was instructed to give this to you,” he said. I was surprised by his formality, because things are pretty laid back, we are all somewhat like a family. I wasn’t going to open it right then, but at my co-workers’ urging, I tore at the envelope. I pulled out the card and opened it. As I did I am pretty sure my jaw dropped. It was from the owner of the store, whom I have only met once and talked to over the phone on occasion. In the card was a $50 bill: a generous Christmas gift from him and his wife. There was no particular reason they gave it to me, and it wasn’t something they were doing for everyone. But it made it possible for me to put more money towards my school bill without completely draining my account. When I called to tell my mom, she informed me that she and my dad wanted to finish whatever was lacking for January.

For break, I have spent time with two precious families who have gone above and beyond “hospitality.” I visited some of the most gracious people I have ever met in Oklahoma and they took me in and showered love, blessings, and wisdom on me. Now, I am here in Iowa with my sister Christine and her husband Jason and the two cutest kids in the world. I cannot become to express how much they have done for me. It is beyond words. I feel so unworthy yet so grateful. It was a privilege to be with this part of my family for Christmas this year, it has been a while. They have willingly opened their home and shared their groceries and resources with me. It is a gift I will never be able to repay. They know that full well and have shared with me none the less, in the spirit of true generosity and love.

God has taught me over and over again, that whether I have much or little money, I need to be generous with what He has given me. I am learning the fine line between giving generously even when I don’t know where the next check will come from and foolishly managing my money. The important thing to know is that the money isn’t mine, it is God’s. Just like He has used so many people to help meet my needs, so He wants to use me to help meet the needs of others. He has blessed my life tremendously, providing for my every need and I am disappointing Him if I do not in turn bless others with His abundant grace.

Matthew 6:31-34 (NLT)

“So don’t worry about having enough food or drink or clothing. Why be like the pagans who are so deeply concerned about these things? Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”

Thursday, December 28, 2006

living

I am determined to live more this semester. No, this isn't a new years resolution, though I am realizing how it sounds like one. But I have been reflecting on the past semester and realized how little I lived or at least how little I let myself enjoy life. Through transitions and changes and personal stuff, I got really bogged down by, well, myself, I guess. I want to live, not merely survive. I want to breathe deeply, not gasp for air. I want to swim not simply keep my head above water.