intentionality

I'm learning things about myself lately. Specifically, I'm realizing that I'm a pretty intentional person and that I have pretty good memory for the little quirky things in life like people's middle names, the specifics of conversations that happened a really long time ago or the random little facts that people tell me about themselves. I'm going to border on narcissistic for a second and say that I like that I remember silly things and that I'm probably ridiculously intentional at times. My intentionality and hyper-sensitive memory often lend, however, to my being less than efficient and somewhat anxious about spontaneity- I like to have a plan. I'm not always great at planning and I have a strange semi-aversion to organized activities but I like to have at least an idea of whats going on.

For example, there are certain streets I really enjoying walking down and will walk even three or four blocks out of my way to do so. I like the way the trees on La Salle look, especially right now. I like the way that the apartments on Chestnut just East of Clark St. smell like fresh clean laundry at certain part of the day. I absolutely love walking down Deerborn and marveling at the architecture and the lamps that have actual flames instead of light bulbs. I like the way that the trees on Wells just in front of lot C look right now. The branches are almost bare but there are a few incredibly bright yellow leaves still lingering. A friend today said they look like ornaments hanging from the tree; he was right. I will make it a point to walk through this certain part of the plaza in the fall. The smell reminds me of the trees in the Gieseke's (my next door neighbors growing up...) side yard and the hundreds of rotten crab apples that would turn to mush on the ground in the fall. I used to dodge swarms of bumble bees while standing in their side yard to hit the volleyball against our house. Usually Jesse was up in the tree throwing the small hard apples at me.

I also am inclined to remember things people tell me that they like. Every time I walk down a candy aisle I look for Jelly Belly dutch mints because Bethany Jackson loves them and they don't make them anymore I don't think. I did find a close substitute at a local candy shop, however. I look for coconut Hershey's kisses for Holly every chance I get. I cut out every cupcake picture I find in my monthly Real Simple magazine to give to Sarah Grace because she loves cupcakes. I really like to get purple things and use them or wear them around my niece because its her favorite color. I have found myself on more than one occasion standing in a store aisle trying to decide which color get to get of something (shirts, binders, pens, toothbrushes, etc...) and have chosen the purple one because Ladybug would like it. And without fail, if next time I see her and I'm using my newest purple item, she comments on how much she likes it because its purple. :)

These are things I was thinking about while I went on my walk today. (I saw the trees on Wells and on LaSalle and the lamp on Deerborn... i missed the laundry smell today, though.)I'm currently learning how to use my bend toward intentionality and memory with things that matter a little bit more than candy and pretty streets. Things like the people in my life and the monuments in their lives or the things that encourage them. Its an exercise and can be hard at times but I'm finding it brings a lot of joy.

The picture below is at our favorite apple orchard in the Des Moines area. Laina and I had a rubber ducky race. She won. :)