Well, tomorrow morning I am riding with my parents to Chicago, where I will visit with my sister and bro-in-law, see a close friend, and then head off to Portugal. I have said alot of goodbyes the past week or so. Its interesting how a few years ago I kinda assumed that all the goodbyes and culture shocks and adjustments would get easier the longer I dealt with them. Yet, here I am four years later and none of these things have gotten any easier.In fact, if I were to be honest I would have to say that they have only become increasingly difficult and heart-wrenching. But there is one difference I can think of, that being I know now beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is worth it. There will be times when I will cry myself to sleep, but thats ok. It hurts, its hard, its difficult, but thats ok. It doesn't matter in the long run. Not to say that you, my friends, family, people I love dearly don't matter to me, you do greatly! But that is why I need to leave. If I were to stay it would be far worse,I would be choosing my desires, not God's.I am not afraid to leave because I know that I am continuing on a journey with my Creator, and it is the best thing in this world. To be by His side and follow His leading means more to me than enjoying the company of dear friends at Tarriccinos, or seeing the bright faces of Rylan and Elaina and Luis. I can't explain in words the paradox of it all. But the best I can do to explain this "eccentricity" is to say that I love my Lord, my Abba, more than I love my life. And I don't say such things self-righteously.I say them simply to let you know that i don't look forward to leaving because I don't love you, but I need you to know that I love God more. I will be praying for you as I cross the ocean, I will be fighting similar battles to the ones you face here. Many of you from youth group have said that things won't be the same without me, I just want to say that this summer has been amazing. Not because of me, but because of God. Its such a privilege to be His vessle as one of His childrem. But it doesn't take an MK from Portugal to be God's vessle. I urge you all to embrace God's story, to let go of your own.Change the youthgroup, change your schools, your neighborhoods your sports teams. You have the power to do it! He lives within you! Live "radical" lives. I guarentee you won't regret it. I love you all so very much! Thankyou for blessing my life this summer!!God, thankyou for uprooting my life so many years ago and "re-rooting" it in You. I want to bless You with my life, I want to bring You glory and honor in every single thing that I do. I want to know what it means to live and to die for You. Magnify yourself through me.
Friends, thanks for all the memories, I cherish them. I will try to keep in touch, though I can't make any promises! Please pray for me this school year with everything. Pray that I will change the way I live and not be afraid to do so. Worry is one of my greatest weaknesses, pray that Satan won't use it to eat me into backing down. Know that you are in my prayers! let me know how you are doing!
with love, charity joy
1 comment:
Charity,
Thanks so much for sharing yourself with us this summer. You have chosen to be a missionary, a disciple of Christ's as you follow his lead. You are a light to those around you, and evidence of the fact that there is a God and He is real. He has obviously permeated your soul. Thank you.
Post a Comment