Late Night Excursion

Tonight has been splendid and full of really odd happenings. I started making some dinner but in the process of getting something out of the fridge, a glass jar of mayonnaise fell out and once the ceramic tile floor. The glass shattered everywhere. (i might add that we just bought it not even a week ago; it was full.) So, after cleaning up that mess I made dinner and Pam and I sat down and watched TV while we ate. After dinner we were both hungry for some dessert but the only thing even slightly resembling dessert in our cupboards were these sugar free, fat free, whole grain, fiber enriched cookies that we bought at the grocery store when we vowed to eat healthily. (They aren't actually too bad and taste significantly less like cardboard than one would imagine...). However, they could never qualify for dessert. So, at ten to 10:00 pm, we headed out on foot to the local grocery store which closed at we were walking up. Luckly for us, there's a gas station next store that never closes. We came home with maria cookies (they fall somewhere in between Graham crackers and animal crackers) and nutella. It was a wonderful night time snack. delicious.

waiting in silence

"For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken."
Psalm 62:1-2

celebrating rest

Well, its been almost a week! So much has happened that sitting down to write almost seems an overwhelming task. But, I'll just pick out a few highlights.

First of all, its so great to be here. Things seem so familiar because the culture and just the way things operate is so much like Portugal. Its refreshing. I really enjoy the pace of life. The day starts at 9:15 with prayer meeting with all the people that I work with. Then, work is from about 10-2. Then, everything shuts down except for major businesses from 2-4 for lunch and siesta. Its wonderful. :) Then back to work from 4-7:30 or so. Dinner isn't until around 8:30 or 9. Then bed comes around 11, or in my case anywhere from 10 to 3 am. Jet lag didn't hit me until about 3 days after I got here, but I'm doing much better now. (For a point of reference, we are seven hours ahead of Chicago/DesMoines time.)

I've started working on the project I've been assigned. I'm not too far into it but its under way! I am working on putting together (designing, laying out, arranging text, etc) a Spanish Bible study booklet. I've never done anything quite this large scale so it will be interesting! I'm really enjoying it though, and learning so much already!

The weather is pretty warm but there's an amazing breeze that comes off the Mediterranean. I have LOVED sitting on the porch off of my apartment. We have a beautiful view that these pictures don't do justice. Right now the moon is full and bright and the trees are gently swaying in the wind. It is so calm and I'm loving the time I get to just sit in silence. To breathe. Its refreshing. I'm trying to make it a habit to just spend time in silence every day. Its harder than I thought it would be, my mind just keeps racing. I'm reading in a book about the idea of creating rest and celebrating that rest in the Lord and when I am finally able to quiet down, its so beautiful.


I'm living in an apartment with another girl who is interning for 8 months, she's been here 2 already. She's about my age and its so great! She is such a God-send. One of the things I was worried about was loneliness before coming and so far, the people I'm with, especially my roommate have displayed that my fears hold no water. These people are an extension of God's provision.

One last little tidbit, one of my favorite stories so far. First of all, I'm in Spain. Not a third world country, we have running water (haha, most of the time, though it does periodically shut off for a few hours, and its not alway hot, but I was used to that in Portugal...), we have electricity, paved roads, etc. However, we do have bugs. The other day after prayer meeting we were standing around the kitchen and two of us spotted a cockroach (the large variety) crawling on the wall, toward the ceiling. We asked one of the men to get it (he's the type where nothing phases him). So, he climbed on the counter and just grabbed the roach with his bare hands, holding it in his fist. He pretends like he's about to eat it and one of the ladies dares him to actually do it. He looks at her, smiles, and pops it in his mouth, chews it up, and swallows, then takes a big swig of orange juice. The rest of us just kinda gaped at him. love it! He works in the office next to mine, never a dull moment. :) My roommate and I are considering putting his number on speed dial in case those cockroaches wander up to our apartment. The girls on my floor at school will appreciate that, i know. At least its not a mouse!!



on our way to the market...

I'm here!

After a day and half packed with training and orientation with 5 other precious girls in Kansas City, I left for Malaga by myself Sunday morning. My flights were pretty uneventful and I am now here! I am incredibly tired because I maybe got an hour of sleep combined over all my flights. But in an attempt to get over jet lag as soon as possible, I'm trying to stay up all day. We will see how long it lasts! It doesn't seem like there is much on the agenda today, which is nice. I'm getting settled into the apartment I'll be sharing with another girl about my age for the summer. So nice! Things are falling nicely into place. I'm trying to put off my larger evaluations until I've had some good sleep. :) seems more fair that way. Thats all for now friends, I'll write more when I'm more coherent!

what a week...

Well, my bags are pretty much packed and we're headed to Kansas City in the morning!! The last hour has been spent finishing laundry, measuring suitcases, triple checking the luggage allowance on the different airlines I'll be flying. It can be tedious and a little bit chaotic, but the feeling is so familiar in a really exciting way!

It has been a full week so far. Memorial day was pretty relaxing, got to just chill with my family at the house and grill out before the rain hit. I watched Rylan and Elaina (see recently posted pictures on the left for visual) Tuesday and Wednesday while my sister was still in meetings at school. I love those times. We stayed in our pj's until almost lunch, read books, played wii. I also got to spend time reading the Bible with them which is so exciting to me. I love hearing their sharp, young minds comprehend new things about God. They challenge my faith with their fresh, simple perspective.

Wednesday night I joined a group from my church/school in Des Moines that is going to Portugal this summer on a missions trip to help out during our annual evangelistic camps. It was so exciting! Its something I have been dreaming about since I moved there almost 8 years ago. My worlds will collide in an incredible way, I get to minister with my Portuguese church and American church at the same time. I am more convinced every day that there really are no distinctions, its THE Church, universal Church, GOD's people coming together for one cause: Him. Anyways, I went to their meeting on Wednesday and I got to answer some questions and just give them an idea of what to expect. I didn't realize just how excited I was until I started talking about it. :)

Today has been fun with my sister! We met up with my grandma and aunt for lunch at Panera which is always precious time. After lunch my sister and I shopped for floor decorations for smith 7 next year and pretty much have everything together! It will take full shape in August but I'm really excited about how it looks so far. I'll write more about the theme of everything at a later date, this post is getting lengthy already.

For my prayer warriors, please pray for safe travel tomorrow down to KC. Chris and Jason and the kids are taking me down which is a huge blessing, and a little bit more sweet time with them too! I'll start orientation at Avant tomorrow afternoon and then fly out on Sunday for Spain. I'm excited but the nervousness is definitely starting to settle in. Pray for my attention to be wholly and only on God. The feelings of inadequacy rise often but I'm trying to remind myself that anything I accomplish this summer is no personal victory of mine but wholly the work of God.

I leave you with a picture of me and Elaina, my precious little Ladybug. I miss having her as my shadow when I'm away. :)

Summer 2009

Well, Summer is finally here! It was a great but busy year of school, I definitely loved it but am thankful for a bit of a break! I am currently in Iowa spending some time with my sister and her family and visiting some friends here before heading overseas for the rest of the summer. It is my intention to keep this somewhat updated throughout the summer; we'll see how I do, I guess. I'm really excited to be doing an internship with Avant Ministries in Malaga, Spain this summer and to then go to Portugal for three weeks to visit my parents and be involved with a summer ministry with my church there.

I have been asked by several to post my summer itinerary so here it is:

May 17-29: Des Moines, Iowa (visiting friends and family and resting after a chaotic end to the semester!)

May 29-31: Orientation with Avant in Kansas City, MO
May 31: Fly out to Spain!!!
June 1- July 8:Internship with Avant in Malaga, Spain
July 9-29: Visit family and friends and help church out in Lisbon, Portugal
July 30-31: Debriefing in Kansas City.
August 1-6: Visit a friend in Colorado
August 6-7: Visit friend in Kansas City
August 8: Back to Chicago for RA orientation and getting my floor ready for next year!

dream

You know those conversations where you come away and feel as though the person you've just talked with has given you permission to dream your dream? that thing that you want so badly to do with your life that seems so intangible? Well, i had coffee with a friend today and I feel like thats what happened. She even dreamed with me. blessed.

"Life" by Charlotte Bronte

[this is perhaps one of my favorite poems. I sort of rediscovered it lately. Emily made me a box covered with a world map pieced carefully over it and wrote a portion of the poem (the part about HOPE) over the front of the box that happens to be covered with Africa. i want so badly to go, but i am here now and that is enough. its been a precious day, actually. its been so exciting to see all my girls and hear about their breaks. Amy said i seem like i'm surrounded in warm fuzzies. I feel like i'm in love. this place is becoming a home of sorts. i like it. here's the poem.]

Life,believe, is not a dream
So dark as sages say;
Oft a little morning rain
Foretells a pleasant day.
Sometimes there are clouds of gloom,
But these are transient all;
If the shower will make the roses bloom,
O why lament its fall?
Rapidly, merrily,
Life's sunny hours flit by,
Gratefully, cheerily
Enjoy them as they fly!
What though Death at times steps in,
And calls our Best away?
What though sorrow seems to win,
O'er hope, a heavy sway?
Yet Hope again elastic springs,
Unconquered, though she fell;
Still buoyant are her golden wings,
Still strong to bear us well.
Manfully, fearlessly,
The day of trial bear,
For gloriously, victoriously,
Can courage quell despair!

[lastly, i would like to thank Billy Creech for introducing me to this poem over three years ago. its come to mean a lot. :)]

refreshing.

Its thunderstorming today. I went for a short walk and LOVED it. Its not too cold and rain on my face felt so refreshing. There's something about being out in the rain that makes me feel alive. I kinda like days like these. I love reading in front of the window and listening to the rain. beautiful.

a beautiful night

I got to spend sweet time with Laurie tonight. We went for a late dinner at Panang then took a walk to Jewel and came back to school. Then, she and Elsa joined me in my apartment and baked almost a million cookies. almost. We delivered them to the girls on my floor and there are about half a million or so still sitting on my coffee table. it was so much fun! I forgot how funny the three of us are together after 9 pm. Things get a little crazy and we don't remember much of it. haha. i love them!

mom, home, armitage

I've missed my mom a lot the past few days. I've missed home in general a lot. She asked me when I want to come home next to which I replied that if it is even in the realm of possibility, I want to spend at least a week in Lisbon this summer. Hopefully I will be either in London, Cyprus or Istanbul (for anyone reading this that hasn't heard the Cyprus or Istanbul options please don't freak out...) for my internship so maybe I can stop on the way or take a break. It would be sweet refreshment. I really miss the cliffs and the ocean and the cobble stone streets and my small but BEAUTIFUL church family.

So much is going on in my heart and mind right now. I feel like I can't keep up. God is revolutionizing my thoughts on Christian Love in the Body of Christ and the responsibilities of the church. I can't ignore the passion and desire rising in my heart for the innocent that are suffering around the world at the hands of oppressors, disease, famine, etc. For so long I've been acknowledging that suffering and have been "tender hearted" for it but its hitting closer to home than ever and everywhere I turn God is breaking me with it. He's calling my heart to suffering with them and give them a voice. I don't know what that looks like yet but I know that is has huge implications for my future and that He's leading me to places I've never been before. This both excites and scares me. But, I've been praying for God to break my heart with the things that break His and that is exactally what He's doing.

This has been a short break from my five hours of homework at Argo Tea off the Armitage brown line stop- I really like this corner of the city. I scored an incredible window seat and am thoroughly enjoying watching people walk by as I work. its kinda flurrying too and as much as I am ready to be done with the snow, it is somewhat magical!

grace and peace. More thoughts to come (maybe during my next study break in an hour or so...) on Shalom.

two great things i experienced at starbucks today

1. a seat by the window with the sun shining brightly outside.
2. red velvet cupcake accompanied by a cinnamon dulche latte.

thats all for now.

just a few random thoughts...

I saw a sign today outside the dining room explaining that if we lose our fobs (the devices on which our meals are counted...) they won't let us into the cafeteria. Our options are either to go to facilities to get a new one ($10) or pay for our meal (roughly $6-$8). Under that someone wrote in pen "OR STARVE." and I've been thinking about how I use words. I tend to exaggerate and use somewhat extreme language at times. But, I think doing so does our words a diservice. I'm more convinced every day that our words hold so much power. Power to encourage, to fight, to tear down, to instruct, to enlighten, the list goes on. When I say I starve because I miss a meal, in a sense, it feels to me, like I belittle the severity of the word as it applies to those who actually have no eaten anything for days. I'm trying to be careful with my words.

I've also been thinking about the beauty and grace portrayed in love and trust. I was sitting at Joe's yesterday reading when two people walked in. I think they are both new here this semester. The girl is blind and was being led by a guy. I learned today that they didn't know each other before. I don't know the nature of their relationship but I think they're just friends. He took her arm and guided her and she trusted him completely. There is so much sacrifice on his part. His willingness to adjust his schedule is breathtaking to me (he escorts her most places during the day). Her trust is him is likewise beautiful. I want to love sacrificially, to put the needs of others above my own. I want to trust like that.

On a semi-less reflective and serious note, I'm going ice skating for the first time ever this afternoon! Katie and I are going. I'm really excited! The sun is shining too (a rarity for Chicago in the winter)!

Along the Road

Dr. Schmutzer quoted this poem when we met for our directed study discussion today. Its one that I read along time ago and loved but haven't visited for a while.

Along the Road
by Robert Browning Hamilton

I walked a mile with Pleasure,
She chattered all the way;
But left me none the wiser,
For all she had to say.
I walked a mile with Sorrow
And ne'er a word said she;
But, oh, the things I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me!

one week down...

and 15 to go! :)
The first week of classes is almost up! I have a pretty great schedule; I'm done by noon or 12:15 everyday! The classes I'm taking are phenomenal! I'm really excited!!! Each class I go to I come away and mull over things for the rest of the day. What really thrills me is how much everything overlaps. There are distinct threads that carry through all of my classes. I love that. And the threads are things that I am most passionate about. It makes me look forward to years down the road when I will be able to look back and see how God used the perspectives and classes to orchestrate and direct my path.
Its going to be a really busy semester with a lot of books to read and papers to write all the time. But its so great.

School has only been back in session for a week though I have been here for a few. Already, though, it seems like life is piling up and colliding so quickly. Part of it excites me and part of it, in a way, breaks me. Breaks my heart and increases the yearning of my soul for the Lord and for the day when He redeems our brokenness.